Words Spoken Can Never Be Recalled
I recently posted a 2-minute video on one of my business pages on Instagram about my weight loss journey. I was excited to share feedback with my followers on a weight loss program and products that have worked for me.
To my surprise, someone I didn’t know or follow on the platform, posted a hateful and derogatory comment about me. I visited her profile and realized that while we were under separate leadership, she was once part of a company I was involved in. This wasn’t someone I knew or recall ever interacting with. Since her comment seemed to be referring to my accent (which I happen to love), I responded that I speak three languages and the accent is here to stay. She proceeded to call me an illegal Haitian immigrant – pretty much suggesting I “go back where I came from”.
At first, I was a little startled, but I took it as a teachable moment; remembering that I can either be hurt or learn from what a stranger says. It also brought me to realize that we often live in a bubble. We work, do what is right, mind our businesses and we think, somehow, we are okay. We never expect that anyone could be thinking negatively of us or actually have anything against us; especially to the point of saying anything mean spirited. We never imagine people have time to waste on that sort of thing.
I was reminded at that moment that when you are succeeding, making a difference, and being vocal, bricks will be thrown at you. The key is never to use these bricks to create walls of division. It is wiser to use these bricks to strengthen our foundation. In doing so, we turn our pain into lessons and what we have learned in our lives into practical actions. During “brick season”, I remember that the human spirit holds strength beyond measure. One of my favorite quotes by Eleanor Roosevelt reads: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
There are people out there who have decided not to like you. They want to see your destruction; they gossip behind your back and smile in your face. Some are strangers; but some, you may even call friends or family. They’d rather allow hate to fluster in their hearts instead of communicating their thoughts and feelings to you. They find any reason not to like you; and any chance they have, they are ready to attack you. The enemy will use them against you to kick you off track. They will come at you right when you are the edge of your breakthrough.
This strange event called to mind something I already knew – hate, gossip and racism are nasty diseases. They are poisons that kill. I call them silent killers. They are like a building filled with termites, feasting away at the frame, and inflicting severe damages. It is a spiritual issue and these diseases will eat at your soul and spirit slowly and eventually it will manifest into your body. Hate, Gossip, Racism kills. It must never take residence in your heart.
At that moment I realized I could answer hate, racism with hate or I could answer with love. I was brought to the cross where Jesus Christ hanged, and I was reminded of Him. I could not imagine the pain, agony, and shame of crucifixion and the humiliation. Even in His agony, Jesus’ concern was for the forgiveness of those who counted themselves among His enemies.
How did He do it? How did He ask the Father to forgive the thieves on the cross who jeered at Him? How did He ask the Father to forgive the Roman soldiers who had mocked Him, spit on Him, beat Him, yanked out His beard, whipped Him, put a crown of thorns on His head, and nailed Him to the cross? How did Jesus ask forgiveness for the angry mob that had mocked Him and called for His crucifixion?
I believe God was teaching us through his crucifixion. He said to us to Love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us. Jesus did not lash out in anger, but He left us an example of how we should respond to persecution. In the very midst of brutality, He prayed that God would forgive His murderers. Wow! Jesus is an example to follow.
For the past 20+ years, no matter if I’m speaking to an audience of one or onstage speaking with thousands my purpose is always to use my story to teach, uplift, and empower others to take action in their lives. I am a proud Haitian Woman.
Anyone who knows me knows that I take great pride from being from Port-au-Prince, Haiti. My heritage is and always is my foundation. Even through all the hardships that my family and I endured in Haiti; I would not change a thing. America has been good to me and my family. We have worked hard to build a life and we also understand to whom much is given, much is expected.
I’ve dealt with my fair share of people gossiping, hating, or being racist over the years. Most times, I have chosen to ignore them. My life is an example of God’s grace and mercy. I should have been dead a long time ago, but He saved me. I too, have said unkind things about others; and done things that were not in alignment with my integrity. What I learned over the course of my life is to extend the same grace God has extended to me to others. I have learned that the words that we speak have power. They don’t only affect others, but they affect us as well.
Hate, Racism, Gossip are human illnesses. They are like an open-sores that drip, infect, and poison the energy and minds of people. If you could see that a certain action would infect your soul, spirit, body, and energy with a disease, would you still do it?
I chose to answer that commenter with love and kindness; as Christ has taught me. My friends, when people hate or gossip about you, it is never about you. Do not take it personally.
Here is the medicine to deal with them: Deal with them with kindness. Extend grace, compassion, empathy, and love to them. Turn them over to God and keep living out loud. Understand that it is an attack of the enemy and do not fall into his trap.
People hate, they gossip and unfortunately some are racist. Most often they hate you because they hate themselves. They gossip about you to feel better about themselves. Sometimes that is the only way they know how to build a bond with others.
Let them hate and gossip about the ‘you’ they used to know. Let them gossip about what they think they know about you. Let them tell stories and lies to people. Give them the room to keep speaking and hang themselves. While they are speaking, you are seeking God, getting better, stronger, and being blessed – you are flourishing.
My prayer for you is that you will always dust off your shoulders and keep moving forward. You will take time to pray and love your enemies even when it is difficult. I pray that you will smile and not allow them to take your joy and peace. I pray that you will forgive them and love them anyway.
Racism is a commitment to ignorance. It is a disease. Gossip is the devil’s radio. DO NOT BE HIS DJ. You are hurting yourself and others in the process. It is truly a disease.
Love is natural. Hatred is taught. Pray that you will unlearn hate because it is a plague. Remember the battles of this world are not yours to fight. May you hand over every battle to God. I pray that God will silence every mouth of your enemies, He will silence those who have an evil secret agenda or plot and speak against you. I pray that no weapon formed against you shall prosper. As we live our lives and are entrenched into the “busy-ness” of our days, always remember that words spoken can never be recalled.
God is Love!
Maxandra Desrosiers
www.Maxandra.com
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